This week I've not been out! only a couple of times with Lee and Jamie. I've had a couple of bad seizures this week (worst today) and with the snow I've shut myself away from the world. I know loads of people have stayed in this week coz of the snow and I'm probably no different!!
I've been on a bit of a downer all week and I feel I can't plan anything or start my New Year until I get my scan and results appointment out of the way. At least then, results being good or bad I can get on and start my 2010.
I've also been stuck in the thinking of 'this time last year' mode as well, which doesn't help. Sometimes I just feel like such a dick and I'm sure I've said this before. But it's hard not to think 'stop being a dick and just get on with it!' or 'I hate being a brain tumour twat' not being able to drive, having seizures, losing my confidence and the list goes on.....
I'm not saying that people with brain tumours r twats, but that's how I feel about myself and how my tumour is affecting my life.
Its things like Xmas and New Year's that bring it all home again!!
Fucking hate it and want it all to go away. Its been a fuck fuckedy fuck day today :-(
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