Must be my fault

Coz I believe everything happens for a reason, I started to think all this must be my fault.

It may be bad stuff I've done, maybe its because of the way I've unintentionally treated/hurt people or being a horrible person without realising it. Maybe it's pay back or maybe it's 'what goes around comes around'. Could it be something i did as a kid but can't remember?
It must be my fault, as why me? its like being fat, being an alcoholic or being a gambler etc etc people don't take responsibility for what they are. There is always someone else to blame. No one seems to blame themselves. Maybe I should take responsibility and blame myself.

I started drinking & smoking at age 13. Smoked for 13yrs, getting mega pissed (wasted) till the age of 26! did things when drunk that I can't remember, treated people like shit when I was pissed, became a person I really hated! maybe all this crap pickled my brain and it couldn't cope with the years of abuse. Doing all this people may think lung cancer, heart attack or even liver failure, why not brain tumour?? All the years of abuse must of done something to my body.
That makes more sense to me than 'your just unlucky'.
So yeah, why not!! 'why me?' well I know why me really, I've just got to take responsibility.

I know people say "it's not your fault". But come on, it's gotta be someones!!